the koi are sleeping with the fish

alas alas, the raccoons have won. the koi are gone and the plants are chewed. i did manage to save some of the water hyacinth from brutal crunchings and munchings, but their life in the pond has ended. and now their lives begin anew as simple unexciting house plants. it's like the plant relocation services. once adventurous raccoon fighting plants, they have been spirited away to masquerade as simple suburban houseplants, as their identities as scrumptious fibrous food put their very lives in peril.
but i have realized that they are the perfect plant for the person who cannot keep houseplants alive (oh no, not me- but YOU know who you are). you can't over- or under-water them, because you can always see just how much water is in the pot. so one undercover piece of hyacinth is in a large glass vase, and the other is in an old pot. this tricksy water hyacinth has the extra ability to camouflage itself as a flower arrangement. when did plants get so diabolically smart?

pollen whore

snake operation

performing home operations on snakes is no easy feat. first there's the scare factor to overcome....even though we only have harmless (to us) garden snakes, when they're over a foot long it still took some bravery to do our good samaritan snake deed for the day. usually this deed entails nothing more than taking snakes away from the demon cats who wander around, and throwing them over the fence so they can escape brutal catchings and scratchings. this snake didn't seem to want our help, but as all good meddlers know, no one really wants your help till you've shown them how good your help is.
BUT, like it or not, this snake had a huge twiggy thing sticking out of its body, a few inches below the head. so we gently held down the snakes head and pulled the wood out of its body. it was covered with this greyish slime and a littly bit of reptilian blood. you can see the piece we pulled out of its side, there by the snake. we then locked the cat inside hoping to give the snake some recovery time. but the snake was only interested in swimming around the pond and scratching its skin off on nearby rocks. so we let the cat back out and carried the snake to another area.....only to notice that it had an even larger twiggy thing sticking out of its stomach. at that point we threw it and ran......
no, we're not proud of it.....but what the hell was wrong with that snake? how did it end up with so many pieces of sticks protruding from its body?

garden salad deluxe

this is the kind of salad that makes you feel pretty on the inside and out. what i like to do is go into the garden with a large bowl and pair of shears and take snippets of just about everything. in this salad there are rose petals, marigold petals, bindweed flowers, fennel, sage, rosemary,thyme, oregano, lavender, lemon balm, apple mint, pineapple sage, purslane, rose geranium, chives, and, of course, lettuce. this gives my salad a variety of different essential minerals and vitamins. when cutting the rose petals, make sure to cut them right above the white part of the petal- the bitter white part is not so tasty. when first starting out making yourself posh salads, start out small. taste what you like and don't like. some herbs have a very strong taste, while others are more delicate. it's a good idea to use only a little of purslane or bindweed. purslane, like cleavers, have been know to have 'purgative' properties (to put it delicately....) if eaten in large quantities. i've never had any problems, but, again, start out with small amounts. and for zeus's sake people, be smart about what you put in your mouth (this coming from a person who used to like certain dog biscuits as a child and has been know to taste strange bottles of liquid that have sat around so long on a shelf that the label had worn off ((but seriously, who the hell makes banana flavored dishsoap?!?))). seriously- know what you're eating. don't assume that you can munch on any old piece of grass or weed.....

artitoes or portachoke?

we planted onions and garlic last fall, and it paid off with a huge basket of harvest. the garlic whistles we blended up with as many cleavers we could find to make a pesto dish. the pesto is a cheap and very tasty alternative to the more traditional pesto made with basil. cleavers* (Galium aparine) are also called goosegrass, and will stick all over you, you can use the leaves and stem in the pesto, the younger less woody ones are the best. it's a nutritious weed- containing calcium, silicon, and sodium. we don't really measure out pesto when we make it- just throw in the cleavers and garlic whistle with some olive oil. then toss it with warm pasta and tomatoes. nutritious and delicious.....yummmm. the potatoes and artichoke we planted in early spring. these potatoes are german butterballs and an early season variety. we also planted a late-season variety which should be ready in another month or two. we found the best way to plant the potatoes is to dig a trench about a foot deep, and place the potatoes about 6 inches apart. cover with dirt, and later, when the potato plants are the size of plant starts, with straw or leaves. leaves or straw can continue to be added on top of the plant as it grows. this allows the individual potatoes to be larger, and can also makes it easier to dig the potatoes up later.


*please note that if you are eating cleavers for the first time it's a good idea to start out with small amounts. large amounts ingested are said to be a diuretic and may cause other discomforts of the bowels sort.....we've never had any problems, but it's always better to err on the side of caution....

going ponding

there's a little pond in our patio area, mostly muck hardly water. i wanted more water and less muck....so i emptied the pond out (by carefully filling buckets with the water, and then pouring them through a strainer to save the gambusia mosquito eater fish.....this took some unpleasant hours.)



then i rode down to the fish store (which was the scariest bike ride i have ever been on....think of whizzing highway traffic passing you merely inches away because there is no bike lane...) and got two small koi and some floating plants. it was very nice looking until the raccoons took to dipping their muddy little paws in the water......i've taken to chasing them off at night with a broom.
at least mishchievous cats still enjoy the view and like to cool their tails off in the water......